Roseanne Barr: “I Was the Victim of Incest, “I Wasn’t the Victim of Incest,”…’Oh Well, Let’s Talk About My Sex Life Instead’

In 1991, Roseanne Barr publicly accused her parents of sexually and physically abusing her when she was a child.

Roseanne said her desire to speak up had been inspired by former Miss America, Marilyn Van Derbur, who had gone publicwith her personal story of having repressed memories of being raped by her father for years.

Roseanne, who grew up in Salt Lake City Utah, said she had repressed her memories until something triggered them. Roseanne’s parents, Helen and Jerome Barr, denied all of her accusations.

“Keeping the secret of incest has taken all my energy and courage for 38 years. For most of my life, voices in my head must have been telling me, “Shut up. Shut up. Shut up and take it.

There’s nothing you can do, take it, forget it.

At least you have a place to live and food on the table. You’re crazy. You deserve it.”

Roseanne says that after her former husband, Tom Arnold, told her that he was sexually abused by his baby-sitter, she immediately started to shake and sweat.

She said that “pictures started to appear before her eyes.” She called them “surreal and frightening, looming large, then crystallizing into my mother’s face.”

The frequent dreams about being molested sometimes caused her to wake screaming. Roseanne also described a state of anxiety attacks, being unable to drive, and thoughts of suicide.

Through individual and group therapy, she began to believe herself.

Roseanne’s accusations included that her mother abused her from the time she was an infant until she turned 6 or 7 years-old. She said her mother “did lots of lurid things. She hurt me psychologically and physically.”

“I remember being 2 years old and standing in my crib. I remember my mother holding a pillow over my face, pushing me down. I remember thinking, ‘Lie still, play dead.’ I did, and then Mother took the pillow away and said, “I must have hurt you honey. I was just playing.

As soon I was able to start talking, my mother went from physical abuse to a more emotional and mental abuse.

I remember when I was about 5 or 6 that I came home from school and my mother was lying on the kitchen floor with blood covering her neck and chest.

I screamed and screamed for two or three minutes. Then she sat up and said, “It’s ketchup, you idiot,” and laughed.

She always played horrendous mind games with me all through my life.”

Roseanne says her father molested her until she left home at age 17. “He constantly put his hands all over me. He forced me to sit on his lap, to cuddle with him, to play with his penis in the bathtub.

He did grotesque and disgusting things: He used to chase me with his excrement and try to put it on my head. He’d lie on the floor playing with himself. It was the most disgusting thing you can ever imagine.”

The accusations also included that her father did not allow the children to lock the bathroom door, that he would enter the bathroom when she was in the shower and look at her naked.

So I took baths,” she said. “That way I could bend my knees up around my chest and fold in while he stood there taking pictures of me with his new movie camera.”

Previous to the incest memories, Roseanne said she had retained a “fantasy of our happy, quirky family, a bit off-kilter, but colorful, all-American, Jewish.”

Roseanne has openly spoke of her addictions, her issues with food, and self-injury.

Now, years later, Roseanne has appeared on the Oprah show in order to update us on her life.

After seemingly endless dribble about her farm in Hawaii, a discussion about the Connor family cast members, laughter about the joys of her current sex life, and chit-chat about the presidential election, it was suddenly, ‘oh, by the way, the incest accusations.’

So after Oprah, her guests, and Roseanne’s boyfriend clapped for her, raved about Roseanne being so “spontaneous and brilliant,” and that she is good in bed, the topic of incest and her public allegations against her parents were finally discussed.

When Roseanne had originally made the incest accusations, she wanted everyone to know, and wanted to give voice to other victims.

But when Oprah began to ask her about the allegations, and how she feels about them now, Roseanne wanted the topic over as quickly as possible. “I’ll try to say it quickly” she said, “I wish I had waited until my therapy was completely over before going public.”

She then said, “I think it’s the worst thing I’ve ever done.” “It’s the biggest mistake that I’ve ever made.” 

Oprah asked Roseanne if she was referring to calling it “incest” or about going public. “Well, both of those things,” Roseanne said.

Then Roseanne went on to say that the book, The Courage to Heal, influenced her decision to believe her memories. She spoke of the passage in the book, that states,  “if you have the feeling this happened, then it did.”

Roseanne then mentioned the fact that a lot of ‘other people were making accusations’ of abuse at the time.’

She said that, at the time, she was prescribed psychiatric drugs, in a bad relationship, ‘had some mental illness,’ and that the drugs caused so many problems, she didn’t know what the truth was.

Roseanne’s sister Geraldine was in the audience of the Oprah show.

Geraldine stated that she had to find out about the incest accusations by seeing Roseanne’s story on the cover of People magazine.

“I saw the magazine article and dealt with our family and felt that we come from pretty common Jewish folk there in Utah,” she says.“I came from parents that loved me. I knew I was loved.”

What, Jews don’t commit incest?

Roseanne now says that she had the feeling of having been abused, and did have memories, but feels that using the word “incest” was wrong to do.

Roseanne said her father crossed boundaries –ones that other people would call incest, and said that nobody makes accusations without justification.

Roseanne feels that she needs to think of another word for what happened to her (other than incest).

So does this mean that she now feels her father crossed boundaries, but never touched her sexually?

That he stared at her naked, against her will, and that he made her play with his penis and put his hands all over her, but that this wasn’t incest???

Although she regrets the way she publicly accused her parents, she still says that she “didn’t just make it up.

A lot of things were true and abusive and horrible things that happened to me that my father did.”

Her father died ten years ago and she vaguely spoke about how ‘Jews are supposed to uplift their fathers when they enter the after-life.’

So what does she mean, that she won’t talk badly about a man who she says abused her just because he is dead?

That she won’t use the word “incest” now that he is gone?

Roseanne says she has found peace and is “very content.” Well good for her, but she is very unhelpful to those of us who have gone through the process of breaking through Dissociative Amnesia for incest.

She also doesn’t help current victims, or any future victims out there who are, right now, dissociating from being raped, molested, threatened with death, ritually abused, or otherwise controlled by people in positions of power.

In 1991, Roseanne said, “Incest and child abuse thrive in darkness, in secrecy. One of the great taboos about incest is talking about it, dealing with it and healing from it. I believe the more voices we hear, the braver we become. I want to enter my voice into the mix. I want to be one more person who speaks out and up about incest, to give it a name. With a name and a visible form, we can treat it, contain it, destroy it.”

Well great, but now what she has done is probably made countless victims and survivors question their own memories, caused many people to disbelieve and even scoff at victims who speak about previously repressed memories of abuse, and has caused victims and survivors to wonder if speaking up about having been abused is even the right thing to do.

Barr says that after she first went public about the incest allegations, she was contacted to visit sexually abused children.

She said that one girl really touched her in particular.

The child told Roseanne that “she was so glad that any celebrity cared about them. She reminded me of all the little girls and little boys who have to live with that horrible experience. She reminded me of me.”

Well what would Roseanne have to say to that child now?

Personally, I believe Roseanne was sexually abused as she originally thought.

I feel that her drug and alcohol addictions, problems with food, self-injury, and mental health issues, are all indicative of someone who was sexually abused as a child, but that the drugs she was prescribed really screwed with her memory and thinking process.

I feel that, over the past several years, Roseanne has slipped back into denial.

Roseanne’s original account of the “incest” and other abuse sounds very true. They are not stories that sound contrived at all.

The way she tells it sounds very much like she was right-on the first time. But now, what are we to believe? She has presented us with very conflicting stories and versions of the “truth.”

This is unfair to victims and survivors. I wonder if she even realizes this?

It was pretty nauseating to see this woman uplifted and admired by Oprah and the audience, when Roseanne should have spent the hour deeply discussing the issue of repression, incest, child abuse, and how her actions have hurt -not only her family- but probably thousands of victims and survivors of child sexual abuse, ritual abuse, mind control, terror, torture, and incest.

This is a very serious situation that she has brought on herself and that she brought victims and survivors into.

It should have been seriously discussed, not mixed in with laughter and praise for her successful TV show, her macadamia nut farm, and the joys of her sex life.

After Roseanne revealed her story in People magazine two decades ago, someone wrote this to People magazine:

“Roseanne’s Story: An Expert’s View:

Dr. Judith Lewis Herman, who has studied childhood sexual abuse for 20 years, is considered one of the nation’s leading experts on incest.

An associate clinical professor of psychiatry at the Harvard Medical School and a staff physician at the Women’s Mental Health Collective in Somerville, Mass., she is the author of Father-Daughter Incest. She spoke with correspondent Heidi J. LaFleche.

Roseanne calls her experience incest, but cites no instance of sexual intercourse. Is her use of the term accurate?

The essence of the term is sexual exploitation, not a particular sexual act.

For a child to be forced to perform fellatio can be as frightening and overwhelming a violation as vaginal or anal intercourse.

It’s not which orifice is violated, but the child who is psychologically and physically violated. Anytime a child is sexually exploited by a relative in a position of power, that’s incest.

What typically is a child’s emotional response to incest? What is essential is the violation of trust by the person to whom the child turns for care.

The child learns that the most intimate relationships are dangerous.

Is it common for a victim of incest to bury the information for long periods of time? It’s quite common.

The majority of kids don’t tell while they’re growing up because they fear being blamed or threatened with dire consequences if they tell. So most kids keep it secret well into adult life. Even from themselves?

Frequently, yes. Many kids learn to create a secret compartment in their minds where memories are stored but not readily accessed until later on.

The trigger is often a specific reminder of the abuse. Once the memories are released, they can come in a flood. Is it possible that Roseanne could be imagining the incidents of abuse she recalls from her childhood?

Anything is possible, but we do know that what she’s describing is consistent with the way traumatic memories come back to people. Normal memories have a context and a story line. Traumatic memories don’t. They have a hyperreal quality.

They’re very vivid and consist of images, sensations and feelings. What we have found is that the great majority of women who actually try to validate their memories from outside sources are able to do that.”


Source of txt:



“doc” sounds just like John Goodman:
NEWTOWN, Conn. — The youngest victims of Friday’s mass shooting at Newtown’s Sandy Hook School had to be identified by photos to protect their parents, the chief medical examiner said Saturday.
“We took picture of their facial features.

It’s much easier for the families to do it like that, we felt it would be best to do it this way,”

H. Wayne Carver II, the chief medical examiner said.

“You can sort of you can control the situation depending on the photographer and I have a very good photographer.”
Carver said the children were wearing “cute kid’s stuff.”

“They were first graders,” he said.

Carver said each victim had been hit “more than once.”

“This was a very devastating set of injuries,” he said.

Officials said Saturday that all the victims were shot with a long rifle.

The suspect in Friday morning’s massacre, widely identified as 20-year-old Adam Lanza, of Newtown, was found dead inside the school.

Twenty-seven people, including 20 children, were killed in the massacre.

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